“Hey, you did learn some things, right?”
“Yes, I sure did, bud.”
Here’s what I learned while spending time in Nashville most of last year.
- Adding the suffix “-town” makes things more fun. Examples: “brattytown,” or “Clarkietown.”
- No one wants to be the conductor on the train to brattytown.
- St. Augustine is apparently the best summer vacation destination ever. In hindsight, I should have gone, even if it did seem way too soon and kind of crazy at the time.
- Coffee makes almost everything better.
- The Sylvan Park/Heights area of Nashville is pretty neat—almost enough to make me seriously consider city living.
- Moss makes stairs very slippery, and that moss can sneak up on you when you least expect it.
- Metro Nashville does not recycle glass, especially not Yoohoo bottles.
- The Place That Sells Insurance is a smaller operation than you would expect, and is held together by a small group of competent and under-appreciated people.
- The best stories end with all kinds of potholes. They’re even better when Ludacris shows up.
- Need late-night cookie dough? Head for the Bell Meade Kroger.
- A VW Jetta can hold three, perhaps even four dogs in the back seat.
- McKay Used Books and the Nashville Antique Mall are little hidden gems.
- It’s fun to watch the Preds practice at Centennial.
- The best shaving cream is just plain old Barbasol foam.
- The food at the Gold Rush is delicious. The brunch is awesome. I would seriously have a calorie control problem if I lived anywhere near there.
- Woofs are real.
- Tasti-D-Lite? Yeah, it’s actually pretty tasty.
- There is a difference between simply being picky and actual red flags.
- Pay attention to the red flags.
- Man panties are not sexy, but lobster boxers are.
- The International Market has some of the best Asian food around. Maybe it’s just the ambiance of the place, or maybe anything prepared and served by grandmothers always tastes better.
- Generics can save you a lot of money.
- The back way out of the Sommet is the fastest way to the car.
- When parking downhill, wheels in. When parking uphill, wheels out.
- Anything you want to get to in Nashville is probably right off Charlotte Avenue.
- Risotto is delicious comfort food.
- It’s not the “highway.” It’s the “interstate.” Get it right, country boy.
- Hanging a door by yourself is kind of hard. Some doors are beyond hope, and need extra weight to stay shut.
- Replacing a lock hasp? They have crazy cool special security-head screws for that now.
- Backyard city mosquitoes are more vicious than those in the farm country woods.
- Never leave a grill full of hamburgers unattended in the backyard with three dogs.
- Coke Zero goes off like a grenade when left in a freezer overnight. Estimated cleanup time: Whatever time it takes dinner to finish simmering.
- Trust yourself, and listen to your instincts.
- The best parking for Predators games was next to Christie’s Caberet. Alas, that lot is no longer available now that the construction of the Nashville Music City Center has begun.
- Want to lose weight? Count calories. Eat less, do more. It’s that simple. Or, you can just have some pirates that live in your belly.
- Bobbie’s Dairy Dip is a tempting summer detour. It’s hard to drive past without stopping.
- Somehow, getting a honey-do list via MMS message is so darn cute it makes even crap jobs like taking the garbage out at 6am kind of fun.
- Life without access to the Interstate is a little more challenging–and it takes longer to get there.
- You can pretty much get anything you need at a Super Target, except fence repair wire.
- A cordless sawzall can break an upholstered chair down to fit into a herbie curbie in less than 5 minutes.
- Frozen, microwaveable meals have come a long way. Some of them are downright tasty.
- Sometimes the annoying buzz from a stereo speaker can be fixed by simply pulling one of the speaker wires loose.
- Opting for the $70 full synthetic oil change is a sure-fire way to guarantee the car will die within a month.
- Waffle House is a veritable caloric bomb. One meal is all you need for the rest of the day–or next.
- Feathers can take a hairstyle to the next level and make a girl simply irresistible.
- Hearing your name sung by your love is one of the sweetest things one can hear.
- Netflix streaming is a pretty good deal–and it can make you kinda lazy if you’re not careful. There’s just so much stuff to watch!
- Jack’s Market is a friendly little place, where you can get just about everything you might need at 10pm.
- Dickson, TN is apparently a redneck vortex from hell.
- The greenway system is great for long walks with dogs while getting to know someone new.
- With some frozen vegetables, a little chicken or tofu, a wok, and a pantry full of spices, a reasonably palatable meal can be improvised on short notice.
- The Wal-Mart Best Value “brand” isn’t half bad.
- 40 MPH does not mean 25 MPH.
- The best old-school car wash around is on White Bridge.
- Starbucks makes a pretty good strawberry banana smoothie.
- If someone tells you they want to have your babies in the euphoria after you successfully jailbreak their iPhone, take them up on it immediately.
- If you beat someone to pay at the pump with your debit card, you win. This also applies at Target and Michaels.
- An $8 homemade apron can bring out a million-dollar smile.
- Star Bagel is delicious…but their breakfast stuff is a little weak. Stick with the Club or the BLT. Always get the fruit tea.
- Some dogs behave better in a two-parent home.
- Drunk on coffee can happen, and it’s pretty funny when it does.
- If someone hands you their Starbucks card to pay for coffee, don’t. Reload it instead. They’ll complain, but they will secretly be thankful.
- The Apple TV is a neat concept, but the Mac Mini trumps it. Sorry, it’s true.
- Nothing will stop you from seeing the one you love–even if you can’t risk shutting your car off until you get there.
- Always park downhill, in case you need to roll start a stubborn VW Jetta in the morning.
- Season tickets are a much easier decision when you know your partner will never say “No” to “Wanna go to the game?”
- The best Christmas presents are ones the recipient least expects, that shows the giver was paying attention. Don’t put your eye out, kid.