Comments for Chuck Milam

Comment on Why Do We Look For The Greener Grass? by Murra

Murra — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 20:51:56 +0000

Typical for me… I tend to think as I write, so it kind of gets outta hand.

Murr

Comment on Why Do We Look For The Greener Grass? by Chuck

Chuck — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 16:58:38 +0000

Murr, your comment is longer than my post. Heh.

Comment on Why Do We Look For The Greener Grass? by Murr

Murr — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 22:40:09 +0000

Allright, I’m going to sound like a globalist nut, but I do think it’s kind of American to go after the next step… I’ve chatted with a lot of friends from countries where arranged marriages are the norm, they wouldn’t trade their husband/wife for anything. Many of them only really met after their parents made the match, and most of them are happy, since their parents know what they are looking for anyway (that’s the story I got anyway). It also seems that, since they are less than concerned about what the next best thing is, they are more focused on other things we don’t spend quite as much time on (but could). Their career and earning power, their skills, and their family. I also see relatively few divorces int eh arranged marriages. I don’t know if that’s because of the threat of shame for the family with a divorce, or simply out of necessity (I tend to think that the women in these marriages feel very dependent upon the guy). Regardless, having watched marriages from differing generations of my own family, I see that the marriages from the older parts of my family that lasted weren’t necessarily less eventful or aggravating to those in them, but that those people looked at what they had and realized going off and chasing something “more” was a losign proposition. They made what they had work.
Some would call that “settling”, call it what you want, there is a logic that is difficult to fight in the old “you dance with the one you brought”. No match is perfect, there will always be change and issues occurring, because you’re not a set of twins committing incest (yes, that’s gross, it makes a point). People are different, I can’t say that you’re going to “appreciate” your differences with the other person all of the time, that would be stupid and blind. But, you certainly should use them to understand what does the other person want, and why is it that they feel they aren’t getting it? IS it reasonable? And, if not, why? These are things you would face if you married Lindsay Lohan or Martha Stewart. It doesn’t matter, you’re going to disagree and there will be times where you’ll think “What if…?”
But the adult, the real grown up, the one that wears pants that don’t have absorbency ratings, will realize quick and fast, you put an investment into this. In any investment there are payoffs and losses, both are part of that game. But typically, in any long term relationship, the payoff is always bigger than the loss. You have to find those payoffs and focus on them, focusing on the losses will only make you believe that all you have is problems. Ray Romano said it best, “Life is a series of Polaroids: some good, some bad. Keep the good ones, and throw out the bad ones.”
Sure, there are exceptions: abusive relationships, drugs, whatever. Those are all things that you should either have possibly known about prior or be smart enough (as an adult) to say “no, I’m not having this”. But again, those are the less often causes for divorce than what I usually hear. “He didn’t respect me.” “I needed to understand myself first.” “He didn’t give me what I needed.” “She wasn’t there for me.”
Honestly? Excuses are made up so that people don’t feel like they failed. All of those sound to me like someone that jsut didn’t try. If you come away saying that you gave everything of yourself, you listened, you said what you wanted and needed to the other person in plain terms, and you tried VERY hard to give them what they wanted (within reason), and after all that, you picked yourself up and tried again. And you can still walk away saying that you don’t hate the other person, but that you just could not possibly have made a life together, then MAYBE, maybe I’ll buy it. Most of the time when I hear about divorces, it’s because someone didn’t get what they wanted/expected from someone else (without having to tell them), or they felt they were constantly giving to the other person and never getting anything in return. Do those sound oddly reciprocal? Think about it. It really sounds like a selfish person expected life to hand them everything, and someone else was under the misled notion that life is fair in all cases.
Some days, we win, some days we lose. Some days we get a free ride, others, we miss the bus entirely. I’ve been alive for a decent stretch of time, and I don’t think I can say I’ve ever had a “fair” day. I can tell you about days I was up, and days I was completely screwed, and some days that just kinda rode the midline. But I can’t tell you about days where everyone else had the same day I did. That’s it, life doesn’t come with helmets and referees.
So, if in all of that prattle you can find some salient points as to why following the “next best thing” always sounds like it’s kind of uniquely American to me, that’s good, I made some sense. If not, that’s not a surprise, some days, I’m just completely wrong.

Good luck,

Murr

Comment on Skating on NHL Ice by Rick

Rick — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 02:20:02 +0000

Skating like a pro I see!

Comment on I Need a New Blog Title by Murray

Murray — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 21:55:27 +0000

It’s been done, but Cerebral Flatulations has always been funny…

Comment on I Need a New Blog Title by Murray

Murray — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 05:01:37 +0000

I STILL think it’s funny, since it reads great on a t-shirt…

Ok,how about

Hillbilly Wisdom?
The Re-Tardis? Which I find HILARIOUS
On Macs and Auto Repair, The chronicles of Milam
The Milam Chronicles
Toothless Wisdom and Cheap Whiskey
Recipes for Butter
KY Intelligence Agency
I Love KY
I Shoot My Food
Gobble. Bang. Dinner
Muddy Boots By The Door
Katie Bar The Blog
The Last Sane Man in The South
Chuck’s Outpost of Manliness
Modern Classics of Blogging…
Blogging in C Minor
The Turnip Truck
Macs and Stacks: On books and apples
Chuck Du Jour
Make Mine Whiskey: A Blog of Southern Living
Bluebelly in the South
Cheese With My Bourbon
The Loyal Order of Bacon and Eggs
Kill it. Fry it. Eat it.

Hmm, I’m out, for now…

Murr

Comment on I Need a New Blog Title by Chuck

Chuck — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 01:53:19 +0000

Remember the “Log of Knowledge?” That got less funny the further I got from college and the fraternity life. “Blog of Knowledge?” No.

Comment on I Need a New Blog Title by Murray

Murray — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 21:42:02 +0000

One more…

Chuck’s Online Curriculum of Knowledge… It’s huge!

Hee hee,

I thought it was funny.

Murr

Comment on I Need a New Blog Title by Chuck

Chuck — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 01:46:10 +0000

I like “Confessions of a Closet Redneck.” Ok, not as a serious choice, but it did make me laugh.

I used to have a total nonsensical title I liked that came to me in a dream back in 2002–but I’ve since forgotten it.

Comment on I Need a New Blog Title by Murray

Murray — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 03:22:50 +0000

Steal This Blog

My Post is Bigger Than Yours

Chuck Milam’s Chronicles of the Re-Enlightenment

Confessions of a Closet RedNeck

Pull My Finger… A Blog Of The Life and Times of Chuck Milam

The Mockingbird Hill Chronicles

As the Sun Hit My Face (A blog of life afield)

A Nighttime Utility Story (read that clossely)

That all I got for now, I like some, some are just jokes… I could NOT possibly be serious, if I wrote my autobiography, I’d steal Opus’ title: Naked Came I

That’d be my blog, too.