One of my friends recently posted on facebook:
“Why do people ‘fall in love’ with things they can never have?”
She then followed up with:
“… I just think it’s wierd how “people” are so obsessed with things/people they can never have in their life and miss out on other things/people that would make them just as happy if not more… I do it too… I just don’t understand it…”
After some reflection, I responded:
I’ve often pondered the exact thought you pose here, especially when looking back at what “could have been.”
We have all looked past the person right in front of us while pursuing the unattainable shiny new thing standing on the greener grass in the next pasture over. Why do we do it? Human nature, maybe? Fear of “settling” or making the “wrong” choice? Why do we do it? It’s hard to say. Maybe there isn’t one answer.
Regardless of why, when I think, “I really shouldn’t have chased after Lady A, I should have paid attention to Lady B,” it starts to get me down. I start to think I really screwed up and missed out—I’m sure we all know how that goes. However, when I REALLY think about it, I come to realize that one of the main reasons I didn’t pay attention to the otherwise perfectly (probably more) suitable Lady B at the time is simple: I just wasn’t ready. She may have been, but I wasn’t. Do I still wish I could go back and do it differently sometimes? Of course, but I have to remember that life’s all about timing, and if you’re both not fully ready, it’s not going to work.
So, that’s how I make peace with this question, anyway. Your mileage may vary.
Does this make sense to you, dear reader? Or am I blowing smoke here? Comments welcome.