Heard this quote on a documentary. Loved it.
“In every scheme of happiness she is placed in the foreground of the picture, as the principle figure. Take that away, and it is no picture for me.”
–Thomas Jefferson
Archive for February, 2010
Jefferson the Romantic
Saturday, February 27th, 2010One Month to the Day Later…
Sunday, February 21st, 2010Sitting out on the back deck on this unseasonably warm February morning, I was struck with an intriguing realization. All of the recent significant events of my personal life occurred on the 20th of the month: December 20th , January 20th , and February 20th. How strange is that? Like everything is lined up in neat little monthly slices—too bad the neat portion sizes doesn’t make it any easier to swallow.
Interestingly, on March 20th, I will be in Minnesota for a wedding with some friends I haven’t seen in years, which I’m sure I could not have done had I been working on moving to Nashville, as per the original plan. (Is it weird to be speaking in past tense about something that is in the future?)
I wonder what April 20th and May 20th will bring? I am excited to see, which is a good sign of improvement in itself. Small steps.
Cleaning out the Jetta
Saturday, February 20th, 2010Cleaning out the old car today, I found:
- One more disc golf driver. Sorry, guys. I’ll make it up to you this season.
- Long green drinking straws and their wrappers from Starbucks, used for drinking from a Venti Unsweetened Iced Coffee.
- I was supposed to sign and mail this form back to one of the schools I refereed soccer games for. Sorry about that.
- Verification from an old bank statement, showing the time where I gassed up on at the Shell on White Bridge with butterflies in my stomach–killing time before I went to watch “The Tingler.”
- Inside the door, the tags from the now-favorite quarter-zip olive green sweater I purchased on one of many trips to Target.
- A pile of unread magazines, catalogs and mail from October, which is when I apparently began living out of my car after the hockey season started.
- Quite a lot of little white Jackalope hairs in the trunk that were picked up by my travel bag on a wood floor in Nashville, along with that promotional “backpack” they gave out at a Preds game. Inside was a game program from that night: December 26, 2009. Happy Birthday.
Skating on NHL Ice
Wednesday, February 17th, 2010I celebrated my birthday by skating on the Nashville Predator’s home ice, which was an amazing rush for me as a hockey fan. I’m pretty sore today–no amount of training can help prepare you for ice skating except actually ice skating, which I haven’t done in years. I loved it. I’m so glad I did it…but….the thing is, I almost didn’t do it. I woke up that morning with a rather poor attitude, and when one of my friends wrote to ask if it was my birthday, I responded:
Yes, is it my birthday. I’m trying to be happy about it. Since I’m taking a little twitter and facebook hiatus, I didn’t post these updates this morning:
“Today is my birthday. I started it by not wanting to get out of bed and face the day. That’s probably not a good sign.”
“I swore I’d never be one of those people who freaked out about getting older. I hope this is just some mourning/loss-related anxiety and it goes away soon.”
See? No one likes a Debbie Downer on his birthday. :)
Actually, I do feel better about some things. I have great people in my life. You’re one of them, of course.
As an example: I was planning on coming down to the Sommet Center tonight to skate on the Predator’s home ice, but I forgot my skates at home. My parents and a good friend offered to bring my skates to me here at work and then go with me to Nashville to make sure I did get this little bit of special time in on my birthday. How awesome are the people in my life? I really shouldn’t complain at all.
Long story short: I got my skates delivered to me, and we made the trip to the Sommet Center. Now, I’m so glad we did. It was an experience I will remember forever. Viewing the arena from the ice while zipping around the rink on my old college hockey skates was simply amazing for me as a Predators fan.
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- That’s Me! There were a lot of kids to dodge around.
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- My foot, in my skate, on the center faceoff circle at the Sommet Center.
Chuck Milam’s Seven Secrets of Academic Success at UW-Oshkosh
Thursday, February 11th, 2010I wrote this shortly before I finally graduated from UW Oshkosh, and left it with my fraternity chapter. Recently, Victor discovered it in his archives and sent it back to me. It was fun to read this blast from the past, and I think most of this still holds true today. I do come down on academic advisors pretty hard here, but at the time I had good reason to. Looking back at it now, I will apply this disclaimer: Not all academic advisors are horrible. There was one advisor in the Liberal Studies department that really made all the difference for me in getting me credit for ALL my classes when I returned to school, and she got me on the track to graduation in the shortest time possible. Some of the other advisors that were working at UWO at the time would have done well to have learned from her.
So without further explanation, I present:
Chuck Milam’s Seven Secrets of Academic Success at UW-Oshkosh
This was originally a presentation given in the fall of 1999 to my fraternity pledge class as part of the “Academics” component of The Journey. I speak from experience. I almost failed out of school in 1995, left school to take a job before they could kick me out, and then returned to complete my degree in 1998. Most of what is presented here was learned in my “second go around” from 1998-1999.
1. Go to class. Nothing is more important. No matter how hung over, sick, or just plain tired you are, go to class. Even if you are only semi-conscious, you can at least absorb enough through osmosis to pass the class. You cannot pass a class if you’re not there to learn the material or take the exams.
2. Your advisor is not going to help you. Contrary to popular belief, your advisor is not going to bend over backwards to help you plan your academic career and help you graduate on time. You advisor is most likely only concerned with getting you out of his office so he can get back to his game of computer golf or surfing to college-sluts.com. You are better off consulting with professors or fraternity brothers in your major. Which leads us to point #3:
3. Use your resources. Through the fraternity, you have access to brothers who have “been there” already. They know what professors to take, what professors to avoid and what classes are a guaranteed “GPA booster.” Make use of brothers in your major, especially–they’ll be happy to help you.
4. Don’t fall into the “GPA trap.” In many academic majors, if you drop below a certain minimum GPA, you won’t be able to take upper-level classes. If you can’t get into upper-level classes, you can’t graduate. So, you end up trapped in a vicious cycle, blowing tuition money, accruing useless course credits and not making any real progress toward graduation. If you’re following rule #1, above, this will not be a problem for you.
5. Don’t believe the “Academic Major/GPA Hype.” Since high school, you’ve been told that you have to have a “decent major” and a “decent GPA” (usually 3.0 or better) in order to have any hope of getting a job out of college. This is quite possibly the biggest lie told to students today. Major in something you really are interested in, not something that you think will get you a good job. After you have your degree, an employer isn’t going to care if you majored in business or art. He’s not going to care what your GPA was. All that matters is that you get that degree. After all, it’s why you’re here, right? Right.
6. Everything can be appealed and/or waived. Don’t let academic advisors convince you that you cannot get into the upper-level courses because you are missing one or two classes. (College of Business advisors are notorious for this.) Remember step #2, above? Your advisor could care less if you have to take an extra semester to meet some silly prerequisite requirement. These kinds of things can be waived. Ask for a waiver or an appeal. If you’re not happy with the answers you’re getting from your advisor, go to the department chair, to the dean of the college, the provost, whatever it takes to get what you need done. It is your right as a student (paying customer) to make steady academic progress and graduate on time.
7. Demand the same level of performance from your professors that they demand of you. Don’t tolerate professors who don’t show up for office hours or class, who don’t clearly explain their grading criteria, or who don’t grade consistently. Remember, everyone answers to someone. You can take your complaints to the department chair, to the dean of the college, right on up the chain, just as in step #6, above. Some professors are beyond hope. Avoid them by making sure you consult with others on who to avoid. See #3, above.
Remember these seven simple steps, and you’ll be on the road to graduate “on schedule.”
Some Run to Remember, Some Run to Forget…
Sunday, February 7th, 2010…and I did a little of both yesterday when I completed my very first “official” road race in downtown Nashville. I ran the Nashville Predators Fangtastic 5K, which I would have never thought I would do even a month ago, but now I am so glad I did. I confess at one point, I considered not running, but I decided I had to complete this race no matter what. It was kind of a symbol of being able to push through adversity, even if I was going to go it alone now.
It was just over a month ago on the evening of December 26th when I got the sudden wake-up call that I needed to start doing something to improve my fitness, as well as burn some energy to help clear my head over some things I was working through in my personal life. I got started with the Couch to 5K program, which slowly works you up from walking to running longer and longer intervals. There were several great iPhone apps to help keep me on track as I worked through the program. Even though I was only to Week 4 of the program, I did manage to run most of the race yesterday. I did resort to “speed walking” one uphill when I realized I was walking up it faster than I was jogging it.
Yesterday, right before race time, I remembered about the “Map My Run” service and figured that might be fun to gather data while running the race. I downloaded the app, and it worked great. You can see the map of my run route and even do a 3D video “fly-by” of the route.
According to the official results:
My Gun Time: 33:38
My Chip Time: 33:15
“Gun Time” is the traditional time measurement from the sound of the starting gun to crossing the finish line. It’s more of a what people would think of a race vs. the other runners, i.e. “I crossed the finish line first,” but doesn’t take into account the large crowd at the starting line, which can take 5-10 minutes to clear out. “Chip Time” is measured from when I actually crossed the starting line (I was in the middle of the pack) to when I crossed the starting line.
My overall pace: 10:44. A little slower than the 5:40 miles I used to post in high school, but then again, I was a lot younger and lighter then. I placed 51st out of 75 in my age group (Male 35-59). I placed 675th overall, and If I’m reading the results right, I placed 384th out of all males.
As I ran through downtown Nashville, I passed several landmarks that brought back some memories and helped me come to peace with things. Places such as: The YMCA I almost joined on the very same night I found out things were going to change for good, the road I would have turned down had I bought a house there, and the farmer’s market where we spent some great times shopping for international foods that I rarely got to prepare because of the calorie counts. Running past these places was cathartic for me.
Most importantly, I think I’ve made my peace with Nashville again. I’m looking forward to the next event, and yes, also the next race.
Why Do We Look For The Greener Grass?
Sunday, February 7th, 2010One of my friends recently posted on facebook:
“Why do people ‘fall in love’ with things they can never have?”
She then followed up with:
“… I just think it’s wierd how “people” are so obsessed with things/people they can never have in their life and miss out on other things/people that would make them just as happy if not more… I do it too… I just don’t understand it…”
After some reflection, I responded:
I’ve often pondered the exact thought you pose here, especially when looking back at what “could have been.”
We have all looked past the person right in front of us while pursuing the unattainable shiny new thing standing on the greener grass in the next pasture over. Why do we do it? Human nature, maybe? Fear of “settling” or making the “wrong” choice? Why do we do it? It’s hard to say. Maybe there isn’t one answer.
Regardless of why, when I think, “I really shouldn’t have chased after Lady A, I should have paid attention to Lady B,” it starts to get me down. I start to think I really screwed up and missed out—I’m sure we all know how that goes. However, when I REALLY think about it, I come to realize that one of the main reasons I didn’t pay attention to the otherwise perfectly (probably more) suitable Lady B at the time is simple: I just wasn’t ready. She may have been, but I wasn’t. Do I still wish I could go back and do it differently sometimes? Of course, but I have to remember that life’s all about timing, and if you’re both not fully ready, it’s not going to work.
So, that’s how I make peace with this question, anyway. Your mileage may vary.
Does this make sense to you, dear reader? Or am I blowing smoke here? Comments welcome.